Date : 20091213
Time : 6:23:00 PM
Title : Hiyah ^___^

I decided to create another blog, but still under this username.

...

do take a stroll at the new blog, PrivateRian

see you there

Date : 20090914
Time : 4:53:00 PM
Title : I Love my simple life.

I feels like writing here before continue reading (read: paralysed in front of computer with only eyes moving and fingers clicking mouse to flip to next pages) manga scans of Naruto.

oh yes Naruto, i said. I used to be skeptic towards this manga years back in my high school day, but now i find myself practicing Jutsu hand seal myself secretly when no one is around. Geez Jesus helpp.

I just finished a mid semester test today. The test that had been bugged my mind days ago. I did not sleep last night, aiming to study, but i ended up using half or more of the 'study' time to browse internet, check facebook, check e-mail, check blogshop, read mangas, and even managed to stumble into McDonald's site and heck yeah, I made an order of Big Mac McValue meal and an McFlurry ice cream. Student in stress deserve the best, no? hahaha.

However I managed to do the test quite well. I know from beginning though, that this all multiple choice question is no hard opponent IF I study properly. But as usual goes, I never get it at fullest. I've been always maximum at A- student. I have never get the full thing. But not like i'm complaining, I never gave full effort too, huh?

Maybe there is one day when I find something I have to chase after with my anything. you know, the day you realized the saying 'to get everything you must give anything' thingy is only way to go. maybe one day. for right now I do not like to waste my time doing something I don't like. Not that there is no effort. There is. But my effort is just as efficient enough as the needed to get me there. Going for extra mile is rarity, sorry. Other than that I'd prefer spend my time doing another thing.

Just as I got back home from that test, I put down my pen case and calculator and notes and jacket and whatever, and I went out again to buy myself a little treat. As I walked the way to buy a meal in Berjaya, I felt the life around me. Warm sun and windy road, noisy crows and people pass by. Out of all the burden, life is so simple and just nice. I don't know how is my life's like in future, but for now it seems just nice. Few good friends around you, eating food you like, idle in the day, doing nothing, sleep all day, browse the internet, watch movies, read books, put some music, go around the malls, the neighborhod, IKEA, haha.

The burdens (should I call it burden? I just mean, something that makes you feel uneasy that you will have to through it) are just as simple as 'oh no I'm having exam', 'oh no the assignment due date is coming', 'sigh I got to wake up early to work tommorrow'. out of them, really I suddenly feels like saying, I love my simple life. I don't know is it just after-test effect or something, but I think it's quite genuine.

I will not stay like this forever anyway. We must keep moving faster and higher, don't we? out of this comfort zone there are a lot to be revealed and dreams to make em come true. Youth doesn't wait. I dare you, all the coming stressfulness, sadness, accomplishment, love, bitterness, to my life.

This is for record for me if one day in the future, I, if ever happened, asked myself do I ever feel happy or what could actually made me happy.

ps: but for now please let me, stay a little more in this little simple lazy life.

Date : 20090831
Time : 1:48:00 AM
Title : The big dinner

So we are having big dinner today of Soto Soup, ayam goreng pemuda (which had stayed in my freezer like, oh, 1 month, since ever), Japanese curry, and stir fried veggies.

Date : 20090829
Time : 6:47:00 PM
Title : The post on the dusty fingers

My hands are full of dust now. I'm typing with fingers covered with dust now.

Nothing. i'm just cleaning up some space-i-clean-like-once-a-year, i.e. under my bed, magaine rack.. . I'm not that full of dust anyway. When I think of dust I think of memories it covers. everytime I clean dusty space, I will look through the things laid there. some books, some receipts, some ticket, some photos, some mementos. I will then, try to remember where i got such stuff, how could i forget this stuff, laugh for something behind the story of the stuff, sad for some stories behind. I took long time to clean up because of this habbit. ah. worse, if i find stack of photos or letters from friend, or anything similiar. I got this Box of Memory, where i keep all memorable things of mine. Including some of my firts thing. My first soccer play ticket, my firs overseas flight ticket, and so on.

I wonder how would i feel tens of years from now, when i dig into that box. It must be fun :)

----------------


Grandpa gone missing. They, my brother and cousin said he's gone to Hongkong, but they're not sure. How come they're not sure? sigh. He travelled alone since Grandma passed away. Maybe recovery journey? His sister just recently, passed away. I always felt like calling him, but I always afraid he's not in the mood to talk, or, I don't have enough topic of conversation. Now that he's travelling, I can't even call him. should call dad tommorrow. Worried about him.

When Grandma passed away, I had the biggest regret in my life, to not spending more time with her. Not telling her so much things I felt about her. and all. since ever then, I have this worry of people around me, that one of them might suddenly left this space of world and I, not yet having chance to tell them all the compliment they deserve, all the feelings I have towards them.

So I just gone through each day of my life once, let me be cherishing everything worth-cherished. Say things worth-said, and express everything in honesty, integrity.

Oh I wish.

----------------------------------------------------------

We're gonna have a big dinner together tommorrow at a friend's house. I hope it would be a great day, and I don't forget to bring the camera. hihi. see ya, should continue tidy up my room now.

Dusty, dusty fingers.

*

Date : 20090812
Time : 10:46:00 PM
Title : The Courage Post

I am not feeling like writing anything in particular. But I don't need to write that systematically, eh? I am learning the first step of being a blogger: post consistently, hahaha. somehow when I'm not writing anything here, I feel kinda guilty. Where is your intention of keep writing journal?, those words appears so.

I usually follow people' blog. those recommended to me, those blogs of friends, those random blogs I found interesting, etc. But at some point, I stopped check back their link at my bookmark simply because i've been there for numerous times and there is no update. I was like crazy bored biatch at home getting angry myself, Hello dear go write something on your freakin' blog so i got stuff to read while spending too much disposable time of mine lah!

Then I wonder why people start to stop writing. I did too, didn't I. I stop because I think nobody reads it anyway. I stop because I'm lazy. I stop because some people laugh at me. I forget that the main purpose of me writing blog at the first place. didn't I mean to blog to express whatever I think? if people happen to like what i write, that would be a plus. But I acted wrongly. I tried hard to please, and at the end not coming with anything in my hand simply because I thought I am not good enough. Omg. If you have not, should you not; be afraid of anything! good is a word with different perspectives trough different pair of eyes or mind. fret not!

Do anything you want to do. no boundary out there can ever, stop you, dear :)

I was in this Entrepreneuship subject class today, when the lecture mr Kishen invited a guy to talk to us the student of the class, plus some other students from other classes. I'd say I would add this man' talk into one of the list of memorable speech i've heard. He was Michael Reyes from the MoneyTree organization. trough 2 hours of time (if i was not mistaken) he talked about entrepreneurship, his organization, expereiences he had, etc, in a very interesting way. He is very confident and neatly presented. I am even interested the said organization. Think of sending an e-mail of enquiry to them, haha. I found the talk realy encouraging me. Even if we are not about meet again in the future, but thank you man, for a well-spent 2 hours.

after that class, should I start make my future plan, future agenda, haha.

The rest of the day, I went to accompany a friend of mine to fetch his friend at the airport. waiting here, idling there, ta da, i am home again.

I don't know why but I'm feeling so optimistic about my life these days. Gee, if only i could share it to you, shall you see how bright is the sky i am looking at :)

Now, jet off to get beauty sleep, haha. have yours, too

Date : 20090807
Time : 8:42:00 PM
Title : ayayaya

Gotta go to Penang tommorrow, to meet my aunt there. preparing, while, thinking of washing up the mountains of clothes to wash. doh.

added:
omg i've been blogging like twittering!

lets add a laugh here

hahahaha

hahahaha

hahahahaha!

Date : 20090804
Time : 9:23:00 PM
Title : The novel

I have always wanted to write a novel. But i am not yet able to write one, or more likely, to finish one. Has it been since my teens, I dream about it. I met wonderful people who can write through internet. I witness with my eyes some people with zero in their hand, finish their firsts and the next titles of their very own, and even get published.

I covet publish my own book.

but it's the long-run vision, and everything i have been told everywhere is to dare to finish one of my own first, despite good or bad, and thereafter the next would just flow. simply because you have started your first one. good or bad, success or fail, you have learned and you have opened the way. therefore I promised myself I will finish one in not very long time. my remark, i will recall.

I will not care it is full of flaw or boring or anything. let the melancholic side of mine shut her mouth up, because i'm gonna finish my very first own book. Maybe it will just ended in my drawer as a memento of this moment, but however in the future i'll see myself as a person who has ever written a book, even it's not published, haha.

I will publish my own book. my old school friends would suddenly resurfacing from no where and call me. or rather write at my facebook wall - asking about my book - is it really your book? I never know you could write! or HI ariana, so you are a writer now, how are you?

hahaha.

but if we don't dream, we won't go anywhere further, won't we?

Let's see later.

I hope to write soon. I don't know when as I suspect i'm having obsessive compulsive disorder to order-matte my room, before I can start doing something serious, haha.

oh. oh. only read these below if you want, really really want, to waste your time

---whining start here--------------------------------------------------------
another thing I always wanted to talk about. I think, I always afraid to write or talk about myself. I avoid to speak 'I', I'm afraid people won't like if I talk about me, and they will ignore me. Bang. How bad is it to feel discomfort with yourself?

Oh my God, i'm whining about these little stupid thing again. for goodness' sake stop, myselff -.-;;.

But at least i found a place to talk about me here. I mean, almost no one here right? I can talk about me as long as I want.

sigh

sigh

I'm still not feeling comfortable. haha.

Geez, do I have double personality or something?

--

--

--

-----------------whining ended here----------------------------------------------------

Bang. you didn't see a thing, did ya. I wish everyone dream of Berlin tonight.